I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading on birth order lately and I have to say it really is fascinating stuff. Not just to see how my children might turn out, but seeing how these theories apply to me and my siblings. I have to say that at times, it is freakishly accurate.
So today I begin the Birth Order series. Let me present the First Borns.
The first book I will refer to is Teach Your Child by Dr Miriam Stoppard.
Her list of personality characteristics of first borns include:-
• Self-achievement drive
• Need for affiliation
The other popular book about birth order is Why First Borns Rule The World and Last Borns Want To Change It by Michael Grose.
His list of characteristics include:-
• High achievers
• Rule Keepers
• Detail People
• More neurotic
• More intense
• More inflexible
Grose says that first borns fall into 3 categories:-
1. The Leader of Pack – responsibility is generally thrust upon them.
2. The Shepherd (second mother or father) – They love to please because they have a strong need for approval of others.
3. The Hard Driver (high octane superwomen/man) – can’t sit still and tend to do everything on their own. They don’t make great team players, as they leave others in their wake.
Here are five strategies Grose recommends if you live or work with a first born.
1. Encourage rather than criticize
2. Save some responsibilities for others
3. Have special times and privileges
4. Flaunt your imperfections
5. Provide structure and rules
What kind of parents do first borns make?
Grose says they make terrific parents because they take parenting seriously – they try to learn all they can. However their tendency for perfectionism can make them critical of their children.
Does anyone agree or disagree with this assessment of first borns?