My kids have been squabbling today. Nothing major; just that stupid niggling thing siblings do to get under each other’s skin. With then of course leads to EVERYTHING getting under each other’s skin, even when they are just trying to be nice.
You know when you get defensive before anything has even happened. Yep, that’s my kids at the moment. I can’t stand that crap. Because they end up dragging up stupid things that happened last week and go on a rampage of who has done what to whom.
ENOUGH.
“We all have to function in this household,” I say. “And this ain’t functioning”.
But what about family you don’t have to live with?
A couple of weeks ago I flew off the handle at a family member and I think they were pretty much caught off guard. It’s one of those situations where you constantly bite your tongue about things they say so as not to start an argument because, you know, it won’t achieve anything other than to cause tension amongst the family blah, blah, blah and then one day BANG! You’re channeling D-Fens and you just let rip.
I’m also well aware that I’m also viewed as that annoying overbearing one with the whack-job views who won’t shut up. It may have even gotten to the point where I could say that the earth is round and I’ll be met with a “well that’s your opinion” response dripping with disdain.
Let’s face it. We’re all guilty of being that person at one time or another.
Is that my bad?
But we’re all family. There is a universal unwritten law that families stick together.
Pop Quiz; what do you do?
Do you bite your tongue?
Do you debate differing points? Fairly preferably, but what if it usually degenerates into a stalemate?
Do you stick to safe (read: possibly boring) subjects?
Do you just lose touch?
Do you write passive aggressive facebook status updates?
Write a blog post?
Fittingly I came across this post today. 5 Logical Fallacies That Make You Wrong More Than You Think
It would seem that we just don’t argue right.
You know, I have a fair amount of resentment for various members of my family for various reasons. Some of them are my fault, some of them aren’t. I hate resentment, it’s an awful and unnecessary emotion. I have found, that being honest without blame is paramount. I know it sound cliche to use me words instead of attacking someone, but it’s very easy for family’s to become complacent and take other members for granted. We become characters to our famillies, the whinger, the selfish one, the drama queen, the angry one etc. I think a good dose of “hey you guys, I feel like you all see me as the loud one with strong opinions, I know I have some strong opinions that you don’t always agree with, but ‘insert feelings here” using me words. Remind them that you are a person, not a character, and explain how sometimes the way they act toward you based on this, makes you feel, without blaming them. Just some understanding of their perception and how that effects you, which is harder said than done when feelings are hurt I know!! It’s a tough one. Big hugs and best of luck xx