BIRTH ORDER: SECOND/MIDDLE BORN
Today I present the Second/Middle Born child.
The first book I will refer to is Teach Your Child by Dr Miriam Stoppard.
Her list of personality characteristics of second/middle born children include:-
• A placid and even temperament
I will also include the list she has for third born children because it sounds more like middle child characteristics than last born. Stoppard does have a list for last born that I will include in my next post.
Third born children:
• A craving for demonstrations of affection
• Is interested in making a happy home
• Is plagued by feelings of parental neglect
• Feelings of inferiority
• Feelings of inadequacy
• Proneness to behaviour disorders
The following is from Why First Borns Rule The World and Last Borns Want To Change It by Michael Grose.
His list of characteristics of second and middle children include:-
• Free spirits
Grose says that second/middle borns fall into 3 categories:-
1. The Socialiser – they work the room best.
2. The Justice Seeker – they can be stubborn and dig their heels in on an issue first borns see as trivial and last borns don’t notice. Strong sense of social justice.
3. The Diplomat – Better at seeing issues from different sides. They think it is easier to keep the peace than fight and are very adept at compromising.
Here are five strategies Grose recommends if you live with a second/middle born child.
1. Never compare a second born to a sibling.
2. Help them find their own area of expertise.
3. Listen to this child.
4. Initiate one-on-one time with your second born.
5. Don’t let them avoid conflict.
What kind of parents do second/middle borns make?
Grose says that seconds tend to accept the responsibility of being a parent a little more readily than last borns but also take a less anxious approach than first borns.
Does anyone agree or disagree with this assessment of second/middle borns?