Do you nag your kids? Is there one thing that your kid does every single day that drives you berko? And it doesn’t matter how many times a day you say it they don’t listen!!
That was me. Across four kids.
Okay my youngest is only 2 so you can forgive his indiscretions.
So that leaves three children that should know better. Or should they?
With my toddler, I know what I need to do there. Repetition, patience and modeling. These three approaches do pay off to teach your toddler manners, taking turns, playing fairly…all those things you teach your toddler.
But older kids, they’re a different kettle of fish. They start to do to things independent of you; and not because they don’t know what you want them to be doing, they cognitively choose not to.
At some point when the kids get older or they develop some new ‘questionable’ habits there has to be some sort of personal responsibility for their behaviour and motivation levels right?
My 8 year old son has an aversion to being clean. It may not seem like a big deal but when I say it’s time for a shower and I’m met with a groan and without a fail in his most irritating whiny voice “do I have to wash my hair?”
“YES!!!!!!! Have I ever said no to this question? I don’t think so. So why do you think that today my answer will be different? And why do you have such a dislike to washing your hair? It’s short hair. It will take an extra 2 minutes in the shower. This verbal exchange lasted longer.”
Multiply that by three kids on their various quirks and it’s enough to drive a parent to drink.
This simply won’t do. Obviously what works for a toddler doesn’t really work for a school aged kid. They need a different strategy.
And this is where The ‘Me’ Strategies comes in.
Designed by psychologist Jenny Chapman based on the theory that preventative parenting techniques are better than punishment.
And this appealed to me because I don’t want to be “not fun mum”. I don’t want to be always nagging my kids.
I try to understand each of my children’s motivations so I can and prevent a meltdown, like you do with a toddler, but my kids are older now. Like I said earlier there has to be some responsibility on their part. They are old enough to be aware of what it is they are doing.
So when I was asked if I would like to give The ‘Me’ Strategies a go here at home I jumped at the chance.
And being the armchair child psychologist that I am (read: parent) I am always interested in techniques regarding raising children.
When the white box arrived at our doorstep the kids were falling over themselves to see what it was. They pulled it out of the bag and on the front it read “Behaviour Adjustment Strategy”.
My 10 year old daughter then says to her 8 year old brother, “Well this is obviously for you”.
Yeah honey, don’t be so sure 😉
Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be writing about how we found using The ‘Me’ Strategies.