For the past week or so I’ve been mulling over in my head a post I’d like to write about. Values and belief systems. Specifically do values, collectively, make up a belief system? Can you have similar values but different belief systems to the next person? Is the execution of the value what differentiates the belief systems?
I even asked my friends on Facebook what they thought. But still I haven’t cracked it. And it’s annoying me.
Last Monday I cleaned mould out of a Tupperware container. (I’m tempted to type FML after that sentence. I guess I just did.) And then someone (probably the 4 yo) put my highlighters back in their case the wrong way; and now they are stuck.
I also found a wet towel sitting in a sports bag; guaranteed to have been sitting there for at least 3 weeks. And my daughter absconded with my tweezers and nail polish causing me to go on a hunt-and-gather mission through her room.
Frustrating no? Because all those minutes that could have been used to nut out my “belief systems and values” post I spent doing the things that others were too lazy to do.
I was actually starting to feel resentful. I felt I was being taken advantage of. Maybe not deliberately but in that “that’s okay, mum will do it” kind of subconscious lazy way. It doesn’t make me feel wanted, it makes me feel used.
Every morning when I get up I am confronted with putting last night’s washed dishes away and washing the breakfast dishes. Everyone else gets to eat and run whereas I get to eat, stay and wash. I’ll tell you now it provides me with no satisfaction and quite frankly can easily get irritated by it. Because everybody else leaves and I stay home.
I know I did that as a kid to my mother so I publicly apologise to her right now
My job as a parent is to look after my kids; not clean up after my kids. There is a difference. Specifically to make sure that when they leave home and share a house with other people, they don’t get thrown out because they leave food to go mouldy in a Tupperware container. Because then they’ll come knocking on my door.
“That’s okay, mum will do it”.
What is even more frustrating is that my clear and free-flowing thoughts tend to happen when I’m in the shower. Because while I’m in the shower, no-one is distracting me and there is no risk of someone distracting me. But I can’t type in the shower.
Today however I have managed to throw these words together.
On Wednesday I attended Melissa Doyle’s launch of her new book Alphabet Soup. A memoir of her life on and off screen. The first thing Melissa said to us was that we should ask for help; and be willing to help others. She was talking about mothers helping mothers but my mind drifted back to how the household runs and how we should be helping each other.
I have to admit, when I left home Wednesday morning I did not put away the washed dishes nor wash the breakfast dishes. Mr M was staying home because our 4yo is not legally allowed to stay at home by himself yet.
I didn’t want to nag Mr M into doing what needed to be done. He’s not a child after all. And I just wanted to make sure that he does see what’s going on around the house. It’s always nice when people do things without having to be asked.
But I needn’t have worried. When I came home the dishes were done, some of the laundry was done and nothing needed my immediate attention. It felt nice.
So I kicked back and started reading Melissa’s book. And having only read a few chapters I found myself nodding along with what she has to say.
Essentially we are all bumbling fools stumbling about trying to put words together. Kinda like a toddler; but with bladder control.
The words for my ‘belief systems and values’ post still escape me because the reality is that for that sort of post I just need to lock myself away. It will be good for my soul; to be left alone with my thoughts.