DADDY’S WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT

Reader’s of this blog (has a more tossy line every been written? Mrs Woog?)

So you may have been furnished with the knowledge that Mr M recently co-produced and co-wrote an Australian feature film The Tunnel.

It premiered on 19 May 2011.  In the weeks leading up to the release Mr M was up to his eyeballs in it.   Day and night, weekdays and weekends he spent finishing The Tunnel.  And not just the film itself but all the publicity, premiere preparations, finalising the DVD release, the online release, and so on and so forth.

No doubt you can all appreciate that everything needed to be dealt with at the same time and all due yesterday.  Not to mention, nothing ever goes to plan so when things went wrong some hair pulling and rocking back and forth in the foetal position was required.

So, for those few weeks I would often tell the kids to try and not disturb their dad because he was in the middle of some very important work right now and he needed to give it his full attention.

Now I must have said that sentence one too many times because one day while I was working on my blog and Mr M on his film, our 5 year old son was faced with a dilemma.  Which parent should he interrupt?  He stood between mine and Mr M’s desks for a couple of minutes looking at us, turning left and right.

Finally he came up to me and said, “Mum I need help but I can’t ask dad because he’s doing important work right now so I have to interrupt you”.

I sat back in my chair, looked at my son, then looked at my computer screen and then glanced over to Mr M.

I have to be honest, my initial reaction was “kid, I don’t get all day to work on my blog, my minutes are precious. Can’t this wait? I know my blog doesn’t bring in the big bucks like daddy’s movie but MY BLOG IS IMPORTANT TOO!”

Thankfully, I do have a filter between my brain and my mouth and what I actually said was “Sure honey, what do you need?”

And as I got up from chair I started thinking, how often do we fall into this trap of diminishing our own work and elevating the importance of somebody else’s?

Mothers have a knack of putting themselves last.  We just do.  Half the time we may not even realise we do it and the other half we probably don’t even like doing it.  We just do it because our some sort of instinctive mother nature, obligation type reaction.

And even though Mr M and I strive to show our children that we are both equal in our marriage, if my 5 year old son hadn’t put it out there for me, I may never have realised that I was unknowingly guilty of it.

It must be an easy trap for fall into.

It just goes to show that what we are saying and what we are communicating aren’t always the same thing.

10 Comments

  • At 2011.07.04 11:08, C Shaw said:

    Yes. Children will learn much more by watching and experiencing than hearing.

    • At 2011.07.05 11:14, Maria said:

      Yes but it’s also a little weird when I hear one of the kids use a phrase that I’ve said a million times before with the same tone and inflection. Very freaky 😉

      Thanks for the visit :-)

      Love & stuff
      Mrs M

    • At 2011.07.04 11:55, Warren said:

      It’s not just mothers who have a knack for putting themselves last :p Everyone can fall into the trap of putting mothers last! 😉 I guess that’s the trouble coming from a society which traditionally sees motherhood and housemaking as ‘easy’ and not ‘real work’, which is completely untrue. In my opinion, it’s partly that upbringing which leads you to unknowingly belittle your work. When you KNOWINGLY belittle it, however, that’s just because you’re a mum and that’s what mums do :p

      • At 2011.07.05 11:23, Maria said:

        It’s true, stay-at-home mums even work-at-home mums get a bad rap. And working mums don’t fare much better. So knowingly or unknowingly, the end result is we’re screwed 😉

        We’ll just have to change that. I love a challenge.

        Thanks for the visit.

        Love & stuff
        Mrs M

      • At 2011.07.04 22:14, Nicole @ myIdeaLife said:

        Not sure if you are the same but almost everything is more important than my blog for the sole reason that it doesn’t pay for itself… yet. You watch any hubby change his tune if you like, eclipsed his salary… ok that’ll probably never happen so for now I just make his life a misery if he doesn’t give me the time. It works a treat as the only thing that trumps cash is happiness! ;D

        Nicole x

        • At 2011.07.05 11:27, Maria said:

          Hi Nicole,

          Our situation is a little unique because we knowingly knew that Mr M pursuing his film career would mean we would be tight for money. And for a long time. We’re at a point where all the hard work is going to pay off so it was really important to not screw it up on the final leg home.

          Mr M has always said that once he was established and having generated a revenue stream, it would be my turn to really focus on my writing.

          That’s an understanding between us but I suppose the kids don’t know that so they just see me mucking around on my blog while dad is doing real work on his film.

          But totally agree, happiness trumps cash!

          Thanks for the visit.

          Love & stuff
          Mrs M

        • At 2011.07.08 01:41, Miss J said:

          I grew up in a house with both parents working full time. They both earnt about the same wage the whole time. A while ago Mum had to travel for a few weeks for work, leaving Dad to fend for himself. Mum had been gone for 2 weeks when I got a call from Dad asking me how to turn the washing machine on. Somehow in our house Dad’s job was more important which is why Mum did all the cooking and cleaning.

          • At 2011.07.08 11:11, Maria said:

            Having 3 boys I am really really conscious of the fact that life partners are EQUAL. The arrangement Mr M and I have has been discussed not assumed. But the reality is that I do the lion share of the domestic stuff. But what I am forever grateful for is that Mr M had to fend for himself for a while before we got married. So he nows how to use a washing machine. Because it would do my head in if it was just assumed that I would in charge of all things domestic.

            Thanks for the visit.

            Love & stuff
            Mrs M

          • At 2011.07.13 17:03, MummyK said:

            Oh god this is so true. I used to feel like this but now thank god things have balanced out. I think it was me more than him.

            Also we are so looking forward to watching the movie.

            • At 2011.07.13 17:16, Maria said:

              Hi Kristyn,

              Good to hear that things balance. You can download the movie for free and legally :-)

              Thanks for the visit.

              Love & stuff
              Mrs M

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