This is the first time I’m going to spend more than a few days away from Mr M and the kids. Over the years I’ve tried to get away for a couple of days on my own or with my friends just to reset.
To be honest, I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long without a longer solo holiday. You see when we got married 12 years ago I told Mr M that I like being on my own. I don’t know if I was born this way or being on my own is just something I got so used to when I was living with my parents that it just became me.
Mr M understood my need for solitude. He also told that he’s the opposite.
Last year when he travelled to New York with his business partner he told me over the phone that his trip would have been far more enjoyable if I had been there with him.
At the time I was thinking “hell, given the chance I would travel on my own”. It kind of made me feel guilty; maybe a little bit selfish.
But here I am 2 weeks out starting to get ready. The thing about “being a busy mum” a monumental event, even though you know it’s coming, tends to be put on the backburner. There are so many things to do in between.
So the realization is setting in. I’m going away on my own. I’ll be turning to wave goodbye to Mr M and my kids as I enter customs. And for the first time ever I’m starting to think, maybe I don’t want to go on my own, without my little family. Here’s a realization I wasn’t expecting. Not because I’m all of a sudden scared about travelling on my own, it’s about shared experiences.
I am, though, looking forward to the time to just breathe. People ask me what I have planned. I have nothing planned. I’m going to wake up in the morning walk out of the hotel and just walk. It’s the first time since becoming a mum that I don’t need to plan ANYTHING. That thought alone makes me light on my feet.
My very Greek mother, of course, lost her mind when I told her about my trip.
“Who will look after the kids?”
“Why Mr M of course,” I reply.
“He’s going to cook and clean and take the kids to school?”
“Why yes Mother,” I say. “You forget, I didn’t marry dad,” I say with a smile on my face.
And that conversation just snapped me back into place.
Because I realized that I might not be making shared experiences with my family in New York but my family will be making shared experiences here in Sydney without me. And that’s a life lesson for us all.