CALCULATED RISK OR EXPERIMENTAL RISK?

My eldest son A just recently turned 9. For me 9 is a milestone age. We’re half way to raising this little boy into being an adult.

A is number 2 in our family. He has an older sister J who is 11.

And even though this isn’t the done thing, I did compare the two about where they were in the development at age 9.

By the age of 9 I expected a certain level of maturity and common sense.

J is a calculated risk taker. I’ve taught her to be that way. Or so I thought.

A is not a calculated risk taker. He really doesn’t think first and act.  He is the other way around.

Now you may say that boys and girls are different.  Perhaps there is an element of truth in that but my second son C is 6 and I can already see he’ll be a calculated risk taker too. In fact he seems to be a little too sensible and mature for a 6 year old.

But that may be because he has seen what his older brother A has gotten up to and has decided that he wants none of that.

Anyhow, I was trying to work out how to describe A; what kind of risk taker he is. And then my husband’s brother-in-law said it. “He’s an experimental risk taker”.

Now I’ve never heard of that term before and I don’t know if you have, but it fit A perfectly.

There’s no way around it.  I think he was just born that way. Because I’ve tried to teach my kids the same things along the way but A has decided that he doesn’t like my calculated risk approach. And I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it except be there to pick up the pieces if it all goes haywire.

I often joke that my job is to make sure he gets to 18 alive. He is gagging to get to 18. He thinks that when he’s an adult all the constraints of being a kid will be lifted and he’ll be free to do what ever he wants.

But that’s a life lesson he’ll have to learn on his own. And who knows, maybe he’ll be able to live his life with the carefree wild abandon that I sometimes wish I had. And nothing may ever go wrong for him. More power to him.

4 Comments

  • At 2012.06.05 22:33, Seana Smith said:

    Ah Maria, I’ve got two wild ones and two more sensible ones. They’re all very active but Giant Teen and Rusty Rocket are just… daft as brushes. I’ve had to let go to a very large degree… How can all these kids be so different… and some so much more difficult??

    Fingets crossed that they keep themselves alive in the midst of what they do now and what is to come. I’m sure these fingets will be crossed for the rest of my life.

    • At 2012.06.06 16:02, Maria said:

      Daft as brushes…I laughed so hard when I read that.

      When I was pregnant with my 4th a mother-of-4 told me that she very quickly realised that kids are just born with certain personality traits and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.

      Love & stuff
      Mrs M

    • At 2012.06.06 17:48, Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right said:

      The calculated risk thing does my head in a little – how much is too much risk? Too little? They’re not so great at maths – what if their calculation is wrong!? One of the toughest things about parenting, I am finding now we are in the teen years, is letting them have a little bit of rope – that they may well hang themselves with. And as you say, make sure you’re around to pick up the pieces. Did you know it was going to be so hard? I didn’t :)

      PS – Loved daft as brushes too.

      • At 2012.06.06 17:58, Maria said:

        Hi Rachel,

        I always told myself that I would let my kids make their mistakes because I honestly believe that’s when you learn the most. Picking up the pieces. I hope I stay true to my word.

        My sister in law who has had both teenagers and toddlers at the same time in the house told me that toddlers were far easier than teenagers 😉

        Thanks for visit and comment.

        Love & stuff
        Mrs M

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