I wrote this post on my other Mum’s Word blog on the Orble Network in May 2007. I re-read it again yesterday and found that the sentiment of the post still holds true some days; even 4 years on. So I’ve re-posted it below.

Sometimes I don’t want the responsibility. Sometimes I wish I could just ignore what’s going on around me and wait for someone else to fix it. But that someone doesn’t exist. I am a parent and part of the job description is being the bigger person, being the responsible one.

I’m writing this post today with ‘stolen moments’. Mr M is working from home today which is a huge help in the mornings; it is fantastic to share the breakfast and school run load.

But he is working to a deadline so I can’t ask him for help throughout the day; that wouldn’t be fair. And for some reason this morning the boys are going ‘nuts’ so they need a little extra attention.

They are kids therefore by definition, unpredictable. And today is one of those days. So I have to push my ‘to do’ list to one side so I can referee, discipline, distract the boys.

I didn’t wake up in a particularly good mood this morning. I was dreaming and in my dream I was very angry and frustrated. My 4 year old son came in and woke me mid dream and somehow my mood in my dream has transferred to my woken state mood. So I need to do something about that.

Without going into the tedious details of my ‘to do’ list, it was supposed to give me focus and hopefully lead to a better mood. But the list itself wasn’t terribly exciting; laundry is hardly a mood lifter. Now I have to rethink the list, which is only proving to frustrate me more. There’s no chance of getting to do any of the ‘me’ things; write a coherent post, finish some of my other writing. It is just one of those days.

Just thinking about the day ahead feels like a dead weight on my shoulders. A ball and chain around my ankles. But I must persist. I am the parent therefore by definition, the bigger person.


  • At 2011.07.13 11:29, Warren said:

    Bad days suck >_> Hang in there, though! There’s always tomorrow. Try and think positive, even if it’s practically impossible. You Are the bigger person, and you deserve credit for it! You’re doing a great job with your family, Auntie Maria, and you’re quite the inspiration

    • At 2011.07.13 17:20, Maria said:

      Hey Warren,

      You’re such a sweetie.

      It’s not everyday that I feel like this. It was more a exercise in reading some old blog posts and see if I had changed much or it some things still rung true.

      Love & stuff
      Mrs M

    • At 2011.07.13 14:08, Caz Makepeace said:

      Being the bigger person sucks! I have written a similar post. Sometimes I just want to let Kalyra run wild and set her no boundaries as it is such hard work. The rewards won’t be noticed until several years down the track but it will be so worth it then.
      Hang on in there, you are doing the best you can do!

      • At 2011.07.13 17:30, Maria said:

        Hi Caz,

        Thanks for your kind words. It’s quite daunting when you realise you can’t run up to mummy who will make it all better…because you are the mummy now. And I’m sure my mum is sitting thinking, ‘thank goodness, I don’t have to worry every minute of every day’.

        Thanks for the visit.

        Love & stuff
        Mrs M

      • At 2011.07.13 17:04, MummyK said:

        We’ve all been through that, hang in there! This too shall pass.

        • At 2011.07.13 17:28, Maria said:

          ‘This too shall pass’. When you come up with sayings like that, that’s when you know you’re a parent 😉

          Love & stuff
          Mrs M

        • At 2011.07.14 00:44, Grace said:

          I realized how much I was actually taking on as a mum when my own mum told me how astounded she was by how I was managing to look after twins. Here was this lady who I looked up to and raised 3 children of her own – telling me I had it tough. Thanks for the reminder, mum.
          Love the self-reflection.
          What else can you dig up from your old files ???

          • At 2011.07.17 18:17, Maria said:

            Hi Grace,

            I’ve got a whole stack of posts from my old blog.

            It’s nice when your own mum looks at you and says ‘you’re doing a good job’. There’s no better affirmation.

            Love & stuff
            Mrs M

          (Required, will not be published)